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Get Out of Your Own Way

Updated: Jun 29, 2020



Last week I published my first online course on a site called Udemy. I'm still elated that I did it! Not only did I publish my first online course, I took the 45-day challenge and finished in 43 days. And, I did so while getting adjusted to a new full-time job, maintaining my responsibilities as a wife, a bonus mom, and managing my editing business.


Do you ever think about doing something, maybe even start doing something, but then find yourself pausing, rethinking what it is you're doing, and wondering if it's even worth it? Some days I would be on a roll. Then other days I would find it difficult to roll out of bed. Sometimes I felt directionless, scattered as if I was doing too much. And, when the social and racial challenges hit, I was emotional, struggling to move on. These are ways that we get in our own way.


You Don't Get a Pass

You're not allowed to stay in your own way. When you stay in your own way, you block your blessings and you impede the positive energy and vibes that are trying to reach you. In his book, "You've Got to be Hungry," Les Brown said, "[People] go to their graves early because their lives have been consumed by toxic, negative, draining emotional vampires." I would add to that and say, not only could you be consumed by people that are draining, but thoughts that are draining.


Here are 5 things I did to get out of my own way, and shift my subconscious.


Tip #1. Allow yourself to be in the moment for a moment. My emotions were running high during the months of May and June, because of the murder of George Floyd on May 25th. Racism has always been there, but this was different because the killer was looking in the camera as if to say, "Watch me get away with this, just watch me!!" I thought of my nephew, Thomas Yatsko who was also murdered, by an off-duty police cop in Cleveland, Ohio. Thomas was only 21. I grieved for Thomas, I grieved for George, I grieved for all the black men (and women) in my life, I grieved as I was on conference calls with my white peers at work. I silenced the phone as I cried uncontrollably thinking, "It's not fair, they are just moving on as though it's a regular day with no incident."


I continued to cry, and ache.


Tip #2. Turn off the TV. One individual became a millionaire. When asked how he did it, he said, "It was simple, I turned off the TV for one year." When asked, "But how do you know what's going on in the world?" He replied, "People will tell me." Wise words. As I mentioned, my emotions were running high during the months of May and June. The TV was on much more than usual in my household. I, for one, was consumed by COVID-19 and the malicious murder of George Floyd. I wanted to know updates, statistics, findings, resolutions. After several weeks of crying during the day, and feeling emotionally drained, I realized I did not feel like myself. I lacked my positive spirit.


One evening, I got still. I sat with my thoughts for several hours and realized that I'm the type of individual that thrives off of positive energy. I do more and feel better when I allow positive energy a space to land. When I block that positive vibration by dwelling on the negative, I don't fare well. I stopped producing and I stopped performing at my peak. Once I realized that, I turned off the TV (and social media) and turned on the motivation. This is not for everyone. Some thrive best through activity and engagement with others. Know who you are, and respond accordingly.


Tip #3. Get focused. I know who I am. I know the best environments and the environments in which I thrive. I choose to be in environments where I thrive. If I don't like the negative vibes someone generates, I exit. Knowing who I am, I focused on what I needed to build me up. Reading and listening to books, listening to motivational speakers, and talking with my motivated friends, family, and colleagues. My one girlfriend says, "If you're down in the dumps try watching a comedy, you'll be forced to laugh." All of these actions helped. I started to put my focus back onto the task at hand. But I had to allow some room for the positive energy to start to squeeze in again before I could do that.

Tip #4. Don't do it all. Women especially try to take on too much and complete too much. Then we wonder why we have nothing else to give. As I developed the curriculum for my online course, I realized I was doing too much. The minimum requirement of course content for Udemy is 30 minutes. I was trying to give students a download on EVERYTHING I know as an editor. I reminded myself of the acronym, KISS... Keep It Simple Superwoman (I prefer "Superwoman" over "Stupid'). Many times arose when I noticed that I was working harder not smarter. It's a good reason that I caught myself and readjusted throughout because as the 45-day challenge drew to a close, technology brought up one challenge after another. Had I exerted too much energy on some of the other tasks, I would have been extremely frustrated on the back end.


Tip #5. Your talents are not yours to keep. Some days when I thought, "Why am I doing this? Why do I even need to do this stupid 45-day challenge?" I would remind myself that publishing my first online course is not just about me. It’s about presenting my talents to the world, to you. My publishing of this course will hopefully enable you to see that you have talents and that you MUST leave your legacy and imprint on this earth with your words of wisdom, your blogs, your posts, your book. You have talents that you've been blessed with, and they are not yours to keep. Share them with the world so that they may leverage them and thrive!


"Don't let life impede your legacy." - Leva Styles


Do you want to learn how to get motivated? How to code? This link connects you to an editing course and Udemy, a source of over 150,000 other courses (many of which are free). What will you learn today?




My favorite microphone for recording my online course... the Blue Yeti!




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